Adventures and Chaos

Throughout the last 5 years I’ve taken time to watch my daughter. I’ve stopped to listen to her little voice and watch how she interacts with her toys, us, and others around her. I’ve watched how she colors, writes and reacts to tough moments. I’ve seen her struggle with insecurities, hurt by peoples actions, and question things around her. I’ve tried to guide her and help her to grow through these tough moments. I’ve failed many times to be the mother I want to be. Motherhood is not easy, we fail, we struggle to find the right words, we fail to act the proper way. We also succeed in these same moments.

Watching her today seems different. I can remember posting a video of her as a baby studying a toy that was in her hand and being so fascinated by this task that was so little to us, but so big for her. Today I am watching her navigate kindergarten, making new friends, waking up an hour and half earlier then she’s used to. I see her come home exhausted, over stimulated and needing a break. Six hours of school, no nap, and once a week attending an hour of gymnastics late enough to delay her normal bed time.

So much is expected from such a young child and I am forcing myself to have more sympathy and patience with her because of her age. I listen to other moms talk about kids holding it together all day at school then melting down at home because they finally feel comfortable and safe. I remind myself of these little ideas and implement them into my life and I find that these ideas are right.

With that all being said The thing I have seen an increase in is not listening and telling me “no”. I feel like I’m back with a 1 year old how much she says “no”. This power struggle is awful and I am unsure the right way to handle it. We ask nicely, we beg her, when we have nothing else we threaten her with taking away something and she usually listens. These moments seem to happen when she is avoiding another task like bed time.

Desperation is the only way to define some of my end of day or out in public poor behaviors. We’ve had many conversations regarding her knowing better and her teaching her younger brother poor behavior, but she doesn’t seem to care. I mean I get it their activity is much more fun then listening to what mom and dad. Yet mom and dad are just trying to keep them looking like well behaved kids, when in reality they are acting like kids.

I often find myself laughing because I used to look at other parents with kids running around like they weren’t watching their kids, now I’m that parent. That is me, 3 kids later while 2 make themselves known in any store, restaurant, doctors office etc. I guess theres really no point to this post other then, kids are going to be kids. How does one allow their children to be children while also providing them the discipline they need for their age when they are all different ages? I find 5 years old is my toughest yet as the mental growth at this age is so much more little girl, than toddler.